Knockers Vs Four Elms

Lose :: Played on Sunday 3rd August 2025

Knockers
155-10

Four Elms
156-9

Match Report

The Curse Continues.

Upon arrival, Matt Landers, a young man firmly in his 30s with the haunted look of a prophet, delivered a grim forecast based on years of painful history. "Miles will get me," he declared. "He always gets me out."

With Commander Ollie Marsh keen to attack, the opposition won the toss and chose to bowl anyway, a subtle show of confidence. Donning their pads, Bleasey and Price marched to the pitch to face the onslaught. The first casualty was Hugh, a warrior felled by a delivery that would have taken down any player. Then came the prophet himself, Matt Landers, still fuzzy from a wisdom tooth extraction the day before. He defied the opening bowler, spearing a shot back over the aggressor’s head for a glorious six, denying him a maiden over. But the moment of triumph was fleeting. Just as he’d foretold, Landers fell to the short-in-stature, but mighty-in-spirit, bowler feared by all: Miles.
With Bleasey holding down the fort, The Professor strode to the crease. He hit a sublime on-drive for four, but a voice echoed in his head, a ghost of Scott's wisdom: “Take it easy, nothing too rash now.” Yet, in that exact moment, Scott was preoccupied, on the phone to Gabe to confirm Jonners had arrived. The Professor, misjudging his momentum, went for glory and was caught. Then came Ali Basham, the dark horse of the season’s run scorers, who lived up to his name with a blistering 31, including four fours, at a strike rate that would make Bazball blush.

A masterclass in calm, controlled run-scoring came to an end for Bleasey. He returned to the pavilion with his head held high, having crafted a sublime 41. But the curse soon claimed another victim. Ted Marsh, looking in complete control, in a cruel twist of fate, was bowled out.

With the team faltering, the source of the curse was questioned. Neither Michael “Simon Jones” Sharpe, nor Excalibur—the mighty blade wielded by Jonners—had ever been on a winning side. It was a dual curse, and as Jonners strode to the crease, he hoped to prove his might with a sword that only delivers glory to the worthy. But even when a cherry landed perfectly in the middle of Excalibur, it brought no runs. Jonners’ valiant effort came to an end, his curse unbroken.
Next was Gabriel Musker, the "other man" in the race for the season's top run scorer, a mere 13 runs behind the leader, M. Landers. Gabe knew he had to score big. With some generous umpiring from Prof, he made up ground with a sparkling 26 runs, closing the gap to just six runs with few games remaining.
The seventh wicket to fall was Ali Basham, and out strode the other cursed player: Michael. Determined to win a game in this lifetime, Michael faced the spinner. "He's a leg-spinner, so as a lefty that will turn into you," came the advice from the umpiring Matt Landers. The bowler was an off-spinner, but fortunately that didn't cause the wicket. A nothing shot slapped to mid-wicket left the team at 144-8.

The skipper, Ollie Marsh, entered the fray, hitting a boundary and running hard to score 9 not out. With Gabe having departed, Jacob became Ollie's running partner. In an attempt to squeeze out every run possible, Ollie "barbecued" Jacob, whose valiant attempt to ground his bat resulted in an awkward injury, making absolutely sure there were no balls left in the innings.
The innings ended at 155 all out.(And it would be remiss not to mention the brilliant teas, with homemade sausage rolls and quiches alongside a spread of sandwiches and cakes.)

And then it was time to bowl. Ollie Marsh and Michael Sharpe were to open. The instructions were to keep it tight, apply pressure, and force the batters to push harder than they wanted to. Stepping up for the first ball, Sharpe, with instructions in mind, slung one nearly off the strip, giving the opposition a two-run head start. Marsh kept it tight from the other end, picking up a wicket and bowling two maidens.

Blease, monumental with the bat, delivered a bowling performance to match. He trapped the other opener LBW and bowled their number 3, moving the ball left and right, no doubt spurred on by Ali Basham’s chirps of “Easy Bleasey, wickets pleasey.” Jacob came in to remove some of the middle order, and Gabe took a brilliant catch down to his left.

At 114-5, with plenty of overs left, the Knockers looked dead and buried. The opposition’s number 4, despite a dropped catch in the slips, had shot away to 88 and looked impervious. That is, until Ted came on to bowl. Applying pressure, the batter had to go hard. He hit one high enough to come down with snow on it. The ball looked destined to drop into a gap—the curse once again shining its misfortune down upon these hardy Knockers. That was until Jonners, anticipating an opportunity, moved to his right. Suddenly there was a chance. Surely this would be a stinger, but the concentration on Jonners' face showed none of the fear that must have been inside. The ball dropped through the air, and suddenly it was in his hands.

We had a chance. With their most impressive batter walking back, Ted had one over left. First ball, huge appeals, with Gabe appealing for one that actually looked close for the first time this season. Given! 153-7. Two runs to tie, three to win, and three wickets for the Knockers to beat the curse. Dot. Dot. Dot. Bowled. The bails flew through the air, the stumps splayed. Again, another bowled. One wicket to win, no runs added. A three-wicket maiden from Ted had blown this game wide open!

Surely the curse would break today. But, that was the last ball of the game from our most prolific bowler. Hugh, down the other end, kept it tight but leaked a no ball and a run, tying the scores. Still on for the draw, the ball was tossed back to Jacob. Having bowled a brilliant spell, this was a sensible option. Here we go. The last chance not to lose the game. Handshakes were offered to the batsmen, who rudely refused. The ball came in, a wide that bounced twice before the crease. The umpire was left no option but to let the game finish in its natural form. And so we walked back, jubilant from the exciting end to the game, but ultimately the curse will live on for another week.

 

Batting

Batsman	How Out	4s	6s	Runs
Will Blease	caught	6	0	41
Hugh Price	bowled	0	0	0
Matt Landers	caught	3	1	19
John Mitchell	caught	1	0	9
Alistair Basham	caught	4	0	31
Ted Marsh	bowled	0	0	4
James Johnstone	bowled	0	0	0
Gabe Musker	caught	2	0	26
Michael Sharpe	caught	0	0	1
Ollie Marsh	not out	1	0	9
Jacob Hill	run out	0	0	1

 

Bowling

Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts
Michael Sharpe	4.0	0	32	0
Ollie Marsh	7.0	2	29	1
Will Blease	5.0	0	20	2
Jacob Hill	6.0	0	41	2
Ted Marsh	7.0	1	27	4
Hugh Price	3.0	0	6	0