Knockers enjoyed a successful trip to the Isle of Wight as the alchemy that makes for a great tour had all the right ingredients; The sun shone, the grounds were great, the people welcoming and the touring party was made up of good men.
Early starts, ferries and new territories didn’t hamper the entire squad arriving in good time for the first fixture at Shanklin. Despite not being late, some Knockers’ habits prevailed with early arrivals heading to the pub. Ben Pullan, George Randell and Tells’ moustache joined some familiar looking faces that included now specialist tourist, Sachin as a late call-up and welcome extra injection of skill.
Knockers won their first fixture while former chairman, Andy Darry watched Calvs carry his bat, hitting his thousandth run for the club, and Jonah take three wickets in two of the standout performances:
Shanklin report.
Fines included Ziggy’s for intimidating a child umpire to get an LBW and Hector for not doing anything particularly wrong. Knockers headed back to Newport to participate in the lone organised meal we managed to muster, wracking up a £600 bill which the bar staff were so happy about that they followed us to Fever nightclub. Entry was negotiated successfully despite all donning tour t-shirts and we hit the bar and the dance floor as well as a dentist chair for Roz for which he was subsequently fined for not getting thrown out for. Ollie got thrown out for doing the caterpillar for which he was subsequently fined for. There was moderate further romantic success for Jonah (not that he had a choice) and Loz who got walked home (fined for ungentlemanly conduct). It was otherwise classic going big on the first night stuff.
Wetherspoons, Sainsbury’s and McDonalds were all employed for the recovery process on Thursday and Knockers dribbled their way to Ventnor with a touch-and-go bumpy cab journey for some. Tells hit the beach in his pants which along with his tash earned him the new moniker of “torpedo” (think about it). The fixture had been pushed back to a 6:30pm start and thirsts began to recover on the cliff side bar. It could have all added up to disaster but Knockers went on to win at the lovely Ventnor ground with Hector bowling superbly after some late order hitting gave us a defendable total:
Ventnor report
Jonah picked up a fine for bowling too well for the oppo while Sachin was hit with a £42 fine (paid) for letting us field for five overs with ten men. Possibly shamefully but probably necessary, a quieter night ensued with Fever closed and only a rank offering on tap at the Hogs Head. 1am street football revealed mixed talent.
A more sprightly Knockers made their way to a seaside pitch and putt on Friday morning. Scorecards were compared leaving Ollie and Calver to playoff with the former taking bragging rights. Rory’s car took some abuse on the journey back, especially as Ben naively left his window open only for Kuts to squirt a 1.5 litre bottle of water through it as Ollie’s van overtook. Porchfield, a club with a fixture list predominantly made up of touring teams, had a big ground and an even bigger drinks selection on offer. Hector opened to get his maiden Knockers’ fifty and the wickets were shared around as Knockers made it three from three:
Porchfield report
The final round of fines included Scott for excessive appealing and Ben for hitting twenty off an over. Knockers tucked into a BBQ and drank enough to get a keen invite to return. At least we’d have an early night…oh no! We somehow wound up back in Fever again. Bad dancing, Jonah successful again and very busy bar staff. It was a long road home on Saturday but all worthwhile with the threat of randomly seeing Richard’s backside diminishing with every mile. Well toured.
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